Am I A Smug Married?
I haven't been married long, but I'm already starting to feel distance from some of the single people I come across. It's too easy for me to trivialize their trials and tribulations, which is wrong of me to do, especially since I lived the drama of a single girl not so long ago. In retrospect, I made a lot of foolish choices and had some really silly and over-romanticized notions bouncing around in my head as a single woman. When I think about the ridiculous ideals I chased around, it makes me wonder how my family and friends didn't want to bonk me up side the head... It's amazing I got married at all actually.
But enough about me. Let's talk about some examples of foolish behavior I've witnessed in the past couple weeks:
1) Emotional Porn: Have you seen the movie "The Holiday"? I'll admit, I jumped at the chance to see this chick flick as soon as Shane was out of town on a job interview. It was a cute movie, but the theater was predictably FULL of women. And such silly giggly women!!!! Every time Jude Law came on screen, or said something sentimental, you heard an audible sigh. And when Law's character professed his love for Cameron Diaz's character, a female movie-goer actual squealed, "Oh baby!"
I think I laughed more at womens' reactions than at the movie itself. I don't remember getting so caught up in these kinds of movies, but maybe I did back in the day? Hugh Grant's bumbling charm and floppy hair in "Four Weddings and a Funeral" comes to mind.
2) Eye Candy v. Good Personality: SK and I went to a holiday party this weekend hosted by one of the residents in his department. Conversation inevitably turned to "which doctor/attending in the department do you think is attractive"? I was frankly disappointed by their choices.
One doctor they named looks like a model, wears perfectly tailored suits, and has a slight British accent. And sure he's very sociable and friendly, but he's also incapable of having a meaningful and sincere conversation! He actually greets people by smiling, pointing and and saying your name. CHEESY! Another doctor they named is charming, but I know from personal experience that this charm is a facade.
Granted, this was party conversation, so they probably weren't being very serious, but I did get the sense that these were the doctors they liked the most. They kept talking about how "nice" they were, but it seemed clear the girls were just bamboozled by their outside appearance and charm! Was I so easily charmed by eye candy? SK was so disgusted, he actually left the conversation in a huff.
I don't want to be a smug married person (like in Bridge Jones Diary), but I guess now that I'm married, I've learned one big lesson: LOOKS MEAN NOTHING. I heard this a million times when I was a singleton from those who were older, wiser, and married, but it didn't really hit home until I myself was hitched.
When I first met SK, I thought he was cute, but what made our first blind date memorable was the ease I felt around him and the constant flow of conversation. And now, SK's appearance hasn't changed much, but when I look at him, I don't even notice what he looks like. Or rather, I see my husband, but love him for such more more than just his physical appearance. I still love him, even when he's just woken up, hair amuck, thick glasses on (he calls them his "birth control" glasses; meaning, they're so ugly....), and morning breath raging. It's an amazing thing.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
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5 comments:
smug married person... i hope i'm not one of those, although i do know what you mean about seeing beyond the cover. well, i wrote a bunch, but it all seems blah. :)
where is your hubby interviewing? hope you'll be back closer to your family. maybe even philly. we can play dates. ;)
hah hah! i remember all your singleton drama... atleast, what you told me! hopefully you were in a theater full of high school girls and not 30-somethings?
YOu are hilarious!! Yes, I was such the romantic once upon a time. lol:"birth control" glasses. I have those too. Thank goodness for contact lenses. ha ha ha
Su Jin loves me for my looks... haha. Is that being smug?? No comments - yellowinter!
emo porn! such lexicon! probably being a smug single myself w/o even knowing it and never having experienced what being a smug married is like, i am at a loss for any sort of opinion at all. however, this reminds me, i am in the market for new glasses. i will keep the birth control issue in mind!
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