I'm feeling rather large these days (see photo for proof). We're hitting the home stretch and I'm a mix of all kinds of emotions these days. Sometimes I'm nervous, other times a little cranky, and other times I'm even able to forget that I'm pregnant and all is good in the world. And then I look down at my belly and am quickly reminded of the inescapable series of events that I'm just waiting around for....Earlier this week, I passed by the front entrance of the hospital I'll be delivering at and imagined myself going through the doors w/ my overnight bag. I started tearing up for some unexplicable reason, right there on the sidewalk. Kinda embarassing.
Don't get me wrong -- I'm generally excited about having and meeting my baby. But right now, the idea of giving birth to a little human being is kinda overwhelming. And sometimes I wonder what my life will be like after the baby is here and I have doubts over whether I'll be a good mother. What if I'm actually more selfish than I thought and resent being tied down by motherhood?
Besides being a mess of hormonal emotions these days, I'm feeling enormously blessed by the excited friends and family that call or email every day checking on my progress. And earlier this week, our church community group organized a surprise baby shower. It was the first surprise party I've ever had thrown for me and it was completely unexpected. I almost didn't go because I was feeling really tired, but SK dragged me. Of course, I nearly cried when I realized what was going on.
This weekend , SK and I have to work on baby names. When we first found out we were pregnant, we were constantly throwing out possibilities while eating dinner, driving the car, lying in bed as we fell asleep, etc. But since then, we put the task of baby naming on the back burner. We jokingly considered naming the baby Garcia or Westbrook if the Eagles made it to the Super Bowl. Not that either were actually serious options.... Point is, we really have to get serious this weekend and pick a name. Wish us luck.
